Celebrate Beyonce's 32nd Birthday With These Questionable Bey-Day Cakes! (PHOTOS)

Um, that's Bey's "End Of Time" at Glastonbury look. Why's she doing "Single Ladies" choreography?!

First, let's all take a moment to #BowDown our heads. Next, let's wish Beyoncé the happiest 32nd birthday evaaaa!!! On this day, how about we give Bey the greatest gift of all, and stop complaining.

Until the clock strikes midnight, we shall neither plead for any new album tidbits, nor beg for final cuts of "Standing On The Sun" and "Grown Woman." We know that's quite a tall order, so why not distract that critical eye by focusing it on these Bey-day tribute cakes?

We commend you on using actual Bey photography. But forgetting the accent aigu? UNFORGIVABLE.

Oh, so now Beyoncé doesn't have an auditory canal? NEXT.

Check out more Beyoncé cakes after the jump.

All this white frosting... why is it not, like, off-white?

That's funny, we don't remember Bey's seminal 2005 album, "Loose Bag Of Gummy Bears."

Beyoncé doesn't copy Angelina. Angelina copies Beyoncé. FACT.

Bey's fondant line would NEVER look that sloppy. Also? TUSKS.

Now this? We like. HBD, Bey!

Photo credit: Cake Top Characters, Cake Chooser, Cakes Are Good, Hollywood Caterers, Cake Chooser, The Cake Store, First Post, cakeandice-cream

via John Walker

Jim O'Rourke Releases Eight Albums of Rare Material on Bandcamp

Chicagoan experimentalist Jim O'Rourke is experimenting with a new music distribution technique. He's just launched a Bandcamp site, TinyMixTapes points out, where he's releasing eight albums full of rare material. Together, they're called Steamroom 1-8. Listen to the 20-minute "Falling Wall", off Steamroom 1, above.

They were recorded or remastered in various circumstances, many in recent years in Tokyo; Steamroom 7 is O'Rourke's soundtrack for the Makino Takashi film The World. A download costs $7 per record.

via Carrie Battan

Ryan Hemsworth Details Full-Length Album, Guilt Trips

Ryan Hemsworth: "Against a Wall" [ft. Lofty 305] on SoundCloud.

Ryan Hemsworth is a guy who flourishes in the one-off remix, SoundCloud mix or EP format, but he's also got a full-length in him. He's announced his debut LP Guilt Trips, scheduled for release on October 22 through Last Gang Records. According to a press release, Guilt Trips finds Hemsworth "beyond the hip hop, R&B and dance music world". He hasn't released a tracklist yet, but says he's recruited a number of guest vocalists.

Above, have a listen to the album's lead single, "Against a Wall", which features Miami rapper Lofty 305. Hemsworth is also planning a fall North American tour-- dates below.

Ryan Hemsworth:

09-18 Vancouver, British Columbia - Faded +

09-19 Victoria, British Columbia - 9one9 +

09-20 Kelowna, British Columbia - Level +

09-21 Portland, OR - Rotture +

09-26 San Diego, CA - Bang Bang +

09-27 Los Angeles, CA - Lure Patio +

09-28 Seattle, WA - Decibel Fest @ Crocodile +

10-03 Montreal, Quebec - Le Belmont +

10-04 Toronto, Ontario - Hoxton +

10-05 New York, NY - 88 Palace +

10-06 Boston, MA - Great Scott +

10-10 Minneapolis, MN - Triple Rock Social Club +

10-11 Chicago, IL - The Mid +

10-12 Detroit, MI - Magic Stick +

10-23 Washington, DC - Will Eastman +

10-24 Miami, FL - Bardot +

10-25 Denver, CO - NORAD +

10-26 Houston, TX - Something Wicked Festival +

10-27 New Orleans, LA - Hi-Ho Lounge +

10-30 Nashville, TN - Scene +

10-31 Austin, TX - The Parish +

11-01 San Francisco, CA - 1015 Folsom *+

* with Nina Kraviz

+ with Cyril Hahn

Watch Hemsworth in an episode of Pitchfork.tv's "+1":

via Carrie Battan

The Weeknd's Phone Number Is 647-794-9223. Give Him A Call!

The Weeknd gives the word "teaser" a new meaning in his suggestive album promo.

It's basically a celebrity rule of thumb that you will have -- no matter what your fan level -- zero access to your music idols beyond what they strategically choose to share with you on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram (hay, Beyoncé!). But not so with Abel Tesfaye, Canada's mysterious R&B vocalist also known as The Weeknd.

In the MTV Artist To Watch's new teaser for his upcoming Kiss Land album (out Sept. 10), Tesfaye doesn't exactly show up (that'd be way too predictable!), but he does share his ACTUAL phone number. I know, WHAT?!

Watch The Weeknd's Kiss Land teaser after the jump.

Revealing the tiniest clips from his upcoming "Pretty" video (which, duh, involve lots of sex), Tesfaye's teaser looks more like a Japanese singles line ad, which promises "happy times" if you call a phone number (647-794-9223). (Er, cue "Full Metal Jacket" reference?) And while we'd looove to let our imaginations run wild re: Japanese singles lines and The Weeknd's steamy "Pretty" video, here's what could really happen if you call: You'll get a personal message from Tesfaye himself! AND if you leave him your name and number... HE MIGHT CALL YOU BACK. #AHHHHHHHH.

+ Watch The Weeknd's Kiss Land teaser.

Photo credit: XO / Republic/ GIFs: randomgifsforrandomthings/

bowlegschester

via Rachel Brodsky

Watch: Kurt Vile Presented With Philadelphia's "Highest Honor", Performs "Wakin on a Pretty Day"

The city of Philadelphia continues to ooze love for its native Kurt Vile. After naming August 28 Kurt Vile Day, the city presented him with the Liberty Bell Award, the "highest honor" Philadelphia offers. Vile was presented with the award by City Hall Presents before he gave a performance of "Wakin on a Pretty Day"-- watch the ceremony and performance, below.

"There are lots of artist who call Philadelphia home, but few have ever let it become part of their work the way that Kurt has," the presenter explained. "We're so greatful when an artist who gets their roots here chooses to stay here, even as they become more successful as an artist."

via Carrie Battan

Star Spotting: Austin Mahone Wakes Up Looking Perfect, Water Is Reportedly Still Wet (PHOTO)

That's right, Austin Mahone actually wakes up looking like this.

Today in obvious news that everybody knows, Austin Mahone continues to wake up looking perfect, at least according to this recently Instagrammed selfie that he captioned: "Just woke up!" Sure, we usually only drool over the "What About Love" singer when he's a bit more styled and has a little less bed head, but...

DO YOU LOOK LIKE THIS WHEN YOU WAKE UP?! Does your just-woke-up skin look like it just got treated to a ten-handed, collagen-firming facial? Do you have literally ZERO bags under your eyes in the A.M., with no puffiness to boot? We're gonna answer all of these rhetorical questions with a very non-rhetorical answer: NO.

If anything, this photo of the Artist To Watch VMA winner is yet another friendly reminder that hunky pop stars are, like, biologically engineered differently than we are -- he's got a buff bod, a stellar voice, and wakes up looking magazine cover ready! Paging all the pouts.

But you know what?! We're willing to be bet that Austin still gets morning breath, because EVERYONE gets morning breath! Ugh, who are we kidding -- Austin's morning breath probably smells like fresh mist from a babbling brook after a lovely spring rain mixed with just a dash of mint sprig for a cooling after-effect. PAGING ALL THE POUTS!!!!

Photo credit: @austinmahone

via Byron Flitsch

The Only Thing Missing From Wale, Juicy J + Nicki Minaj's 'Clappers' Video Is Miley Cyrus (NSFW)

Despite the lack of Miley, Wale's new video still makes us clap... as in applaud.

When we first heard Wale's "Clappers" featuring Juicy J and Nicki Minaj in June, we immediately jumped to the conclusion that the song was about one thing, and one thing only: butts. Now that we've seen the video, however, we think we understand what the track's truly about: still butts. C'mon, the refrain is "Shorty's got a big ole butt, oh yeaaaaaaaah!" It's not, like, a spoiler alert.

The clip accurately portrays that in-the-club wildness and the big fish (big butt?) tales you tell your boys the next day. One teensy tiny complaint though: Where's Miley Cyrus?

Watch Wale's NSFW "Clappers" video featuring Juicy J and Nicki Minaj after the jump.

Granted, maybe we've developed a slight Pavlovian response to anything butt, twerk, or booty-pop-related every since Miley's VMA performance -- but we can't help it! Seriously, Wale, the "Wrecking Ball" singer's totally down to do whatever it takes to make a lasting, "history-making" impression, but she won't be available forever!

With a guest spot on Mike WiLL's "23" and that rumored Kanye West remix of "Black Skinhead" on the way, Miley's probably gonna have to set up a dance card for her booty so that it doesn't get all twerked out! Get in while the twerking's good, Wale!

+ Watch Wale's "Clappers" video featuring Juicy J and Nicki Minaj.

Photo credit: Atlantic

via John Walker

Night Riots Play With Color, Shapes, And Shadows In Their 'Remedy' Video

Night Riots have a shadowy new video for "Remedy."

Cali rockers Night Riots have definitely brought a darker style to their sound lately, and the band's "Remedy" video makes the most of the shadows. (Holler at you later, Jason Mraz.) With bright lights and flickering images spilling across the blanketed walls around them, singer Travis Hawley sings and dances in silhouette as the rest of the band rocks from behind their own transparent curtain. Colorful and artful, it's the kind of visual that could only be cooler with Natalie Portman busting "Black Swan" moves over the group's moody lead guitars.

Watch Night Riots' "Remedy" video after the jump.

But the track's energy is less inner demons and more pure celebration, with whoa-oh-ohs throwing up their hands over dance-punk guitar riffs funkier than month-old milk, if month-old milk was crazy delicious and also good for you. Thanks for curing our Saturday night fever, dudes.

The band's Young Lore EP is out now -- their first since their PK days. They've just hit the road, joining Driver Friendly for upcoming dates in Texas, Oklahoma and Colorado after kicking things off at Anaheim, Calif.'s House of Blues. Keep an eye for the guys later this year, East Coast.

+ Watch Night Riots' "Remedy" video.

Photo credit: Richard Fusillo

via David Greenwald

4 Things That Sleigh Bells' 'Bitter Rivals' Video Reminds Us Of That Are NOT Katy Perry-Related

We are super into/ incredibly intimidated by Sleigh Bells' new video for "Bitter Rivals."

From the "Rocky"-esque styling to its pump-up mantra feel, Sleigh Bells' new video for "Bitter Rivals" definitely shares a lot of similarities with Katy Perry's "Roar" -- or, at least when Katy performed it live at the VMAs.

But we feel that there are, like, a million more super obscure, pop cultural treasures buried deep within the Brooklyn noise-pop duo's clip that are equally worth giving a shoutout to. OK, so maybe the number's closer to four... and perhaaaaaps it's all just in our heads. But c'mon, do you want an excuse to look at pictures of "Jem And The Holograms" characters or not??

1.) THE MISFITS: No, not Danzig's horror-punk Misfits, but the glammed-out bad girl antagonists from the '80s seminal animated classic "Jem And The Holograms."

Watch Sleigh Bells' "Bitter Rivals" video after the jump.

2.) SHAKESPEARE'S "TWELFTH NIGHT": The hard-edged "Be not afraid" mantra repeated in the song's bridge definitely makes us recall Malvolio's monologue that begins the same way. It also doesn't hurt that the greatness that is Alexis Krauss' delivery is pretty much "thrust upon us."

3.) "MO MONEY MO PROBLEMS": The Notorious B.I.G.'s posthumous clip for "Mo Money Mo Problems" (featuring Diddy and Mase) also features Queens' Unisphere. Though we feel like Sleigh Bells' frontwoman isn't really in the "I don't know what they want from me" kinda mood.

4.) MICHEL FOUCAULT: Check the lyric: "You are my bitter rival/ But I need you for survival." Hellooooo, that could basically be found in the French philosopher's "The History Of Sexuality, Vol. 1." Is anyone else having flashbacks to sophomore-year queer theory seminars, OR IS IT JUST US?!

Think we missed anything may-jah? Tweet @MTVBuzzworthy all of your "Bitter Rivals" findings!

+ Watch Sleigh Bells' "Bitter Rivals" video.

Photo credit: Mom + Pop Music, weheartit, Wikimedia Commons, Bad Boy, Getty Images

via John Walker

Buzzworthy Obsession: Dresses, 'Sun Shy EP'

Can we send Dresses' "Sun Shy EP" cover art as our Christmas card this year? Is that OK?

Maybe you're like us right now, dealing with the demise of summer and onset of fall by trying to shut the blinds, grab the comforter, and just curl up into a blanket burrito ball. One thing we recommend to help with the regretful rocking is Portland-based indie-pop duo Dresses' Sun Shy EP, which they released today.

Or, perhaps you took full advantage of summer and already have a super cute collection of fall layers raring to go -- in which case, may we present the coldest of shoulders. (#BitterBetties)

Watch Dresses' "Blew My Mind" and "Sun Shy" videos after the jump.

From the opening track "Back To Life" to the closing "Sticks And Stones," Dresses' debut effort plays with those ideas that you engage with when you're in the most intimate of spaces: your bedroom. (At least that's how we're reading it.) Sometimes, these thoughts are adorable and vulnerable, and other times they're kinda weird-yet-troubling-yet-hilarious ("If all my friends are dead, and I don't give a sh*t/ Does that make me f***ed up?"). Dresses taps into these bizarre impulses in a way that's equal parts relatable and intriguing.

Comprised of IRL boyfriend/girlfriend Timothy (not the boyfriend) and Jared, the band also touches on the different kinds of one-on-one interactions that happen behind closed doors.

On "Blew My Mind," Timothy's trickling Joanna Newsom-y vocals try to tell a lover how comforting his presence is when she wakes. It's like an awesomely neurotic version of Rihanna's "Stay," where the singer declares what basically amounts to: "I have these upsetting dreams where I run after you, lose you, end up at a creek, and kids laugh at me, and so anyway I like it when I wake up next to you." You know, the twee translation of: "I want you to stay."

Meanwhile, the title track takes a turn for the (indie) poppier. While still as light and ethereal as the rest of the record, the unexpectedly '80s synth drums straight outta New Order's "Bizarre Light Triangle" on "Sun Shy" definitely make it a track worth kicking off your "We Guess We're OK With Summer Ending" indoor house party this weekend.

NGL, we're kinda taking notes on the video for the song below. So that gives us... three or four days to grab some silvery glitter eyeliner and a dachshund that doesn't mind getting picked up? On it.

+ Watch DRESSES' "BLEW MY MIND" VIDEO and their "SUN SHY" VIDEO, and GRAB DRESSES' SUN SHY EP ON ITUNES.

Photo credit: SideOneDummy Records

via John Walker

This Photo Of Ariana Grande And Mac Miller Being BFFs Is Cute Enough To Frame

Adriana Grande and Mac Miller are on cuteness overload!

You know how when you buy a frame it comes with some cheesy stock photo of random strangers? Yeah, well, can we make an official motion to replace every single stock photo EVER with this ADORBZ image of Adriana Grande and Mac Miller being BFFs while performing "The Way" on the "Today" show"? I mean, think about it: Not only would you get a brand-new frame, but you'd also have something to add to your "Ariana Grande Should Date Mac Miller" shrine photo collage!

Not gonna lie, we always thought that Mac Miller was pretty badass (see: "I Am Who I Am (Killin Time)" -- that ish ain't about twirling through fields of flowers and dancing with unicorns). But watching him hang out with pop sweetheart Ariana has totally changed our perspective -- now we're picturing Mac skipping down the yellow brick road to his happy place!

This photo also proves that Ariana's loveliness is totally legit (we're still awww-ing that time she hugged her mom on the MTV VMA red carpet), and apparently it's rubbing off on one of the biggest ballers in the hip-hop game. Orrr maybe Ariana and Mac are just practicing for their upcoming cuteness campaign? (Yes, we totally just made that campaign up, but this endearing photo would have us buy ANYTHING they're selling.)

Photo credit: Splash News

via Byron Flitsch

Justin Bieber Spent His Labor Day Weekend Shirtless On A Four-Wheeler (PHOTO)

Justin Bieber gives us one more shirtless pic for the road.

We HATE that summer is pretty much over. I mean, sure, we're looking forward to wearing chunky sweaters and sipping pumpkin spice lattes, but, unfortunately, cooler weather also means fewer opportunities for celebs to take their shirts off! OK, when we say "celebs," we really mean "fewer photos of Justin Bieber sans shirt." So, how should we bid adieu to warm weather and, consequently, fewer shirtless Justin Bieber photos? By drooling over a pic of shirtless Justin stunt'n on an four-wheeler, that's how!

Posting his end-of-summer photo to Instagram, the "Heartbreaker" singer captioned, "Tmz this is for u " We're not sure about whatever inside joke Justin has going with the paparazzi, but we DO want to know what TMZ did to get a shirtless shot dedicated to them. (Seriously. Did they offer him their firstborn?! We can do that too, Justin!!!)

Now, please excuse us while we spend the rest of the day staring at this photo / paying our respects to the end of another beautiful shirtless season (we're looking at you too, Nick Jonas and Harry Styles). Won't you join us in moment of silence for Summer of 2013 -- R.I.P.? (BTW, "RIP" stands for Remember Idealistic Physiques.)

Photo credit: @justinbieber

via Byron Flitsch

It's Labor Day, So Let's All Take The Day Off Work + Watch Our Flawless Faves WERQ (GIFs)

So, yeah, even though we know that we're supposed to use Labor Day to, like, HONOR AND REFLECT ON WORKERS' RIGHTS and be thankful that we don't have to till soil at 4 a.m. or whatever (read up on Labor Day from actual experts here), LBR! A day away from the office/ school/ whereva should best be spent in the horizontal position staring mindlessly at the computer.

So let's leave all the hard werque for our faves, who never take a day off from dancing in 11-inch spiked Zanottis, sucking it in in their corsets, and nearly breaking their necks whipping their extensions back and forth. Happy Labor Day!

See the rest of your faves WERQ after the jump.

+ Read up on LABOR DAY'S HISTORY, watch IGGY AZALEA'S "WORK" VIDEO, CIARA'S "WORK" VIDEO, KELLY ROWLAND'S "WORK" VIDEO, RUPAUL'S "SUPERMODEL (OF THE WORLD)" VIDEO, and a COMPILATION OF LEIOMY MIZRAHI FROM "AMERICA'S BEST DANCE CREW" MAKING YOU GAG.

GIFs: f*ckyeahbeyonce, cannibalsuxx, britneyspearsgifs, celebrityweaves, blingringxx, Pop Ate My Heart, atouchofpink, bornthixway, Perez Hilton, hyenainafreakingzoo, Rebloggy, Fanpop, omgtumbleweave, gus-eray, 9201990, itsagraysworld, T. Kyle MacMahon of Reality TV GIFs, cocaineand-caviar, Swide, gif-of-the-world

via John Walker

Download Lil Wayne's Dedication 5 Featuring the Weeknd, Chance the Rapper, T.I.

"Noticed I wasn't nominated nor involved n da MTV VMA's nor da BET awards," Lil Wayne wrote on Twitter this week. "I apologize to my fans and I promise 2 work harder if it kills me". Now he's shared a new mixtape, the fifth volume of his Dedication series, hosted by DJ Drama.

It features the Weeknd, Chance the Rapper, T.I., Birdman, and others. It also features Wayne rapping over tracks by Kanye West ("New Slaves"), Kendrick Lamar ("Bitch Don't Kill My Vibe"), Drake ("Started From the Bottom"), Jay Z ("FuckWithMeYouKnowIGotIt"), 2 Chainz ("Feds Watching"), A$AP Rocky ("Fuckin' Problems"), and more ("Bugatti", "UOENO").

Download it here via Livemixtapes.

Dedication 5 :

01 I'm Good [feat. the Weeknd]

02 How Dedicated / Kill My Vibe

03 New Slaves

04 Type of Way [feat. T.I.]

05 You Song [feat. Chance the Rapper]

06 Ain't Worried [feat. Euro & Jae Millz]

07 Before Tune Gets Back [feat. Lil Chuckee]

08 Started from the Bottom

09 New Signees to Young Money

10 Live Life [feat. Euro]

11 Itchin

12 Way I'm Ballin [feat. Mack Maine & Birdman]

13 Fortune Teller Interlude

14 Thinkin About You

15 Pure Colombia

16 Bugatti

17 Still Got the Rock

18 FuckWitMeYouKnowIGotIt [feat. T.I.]

19 UOENO

20 Cream [feat. Euro]

21 Levels [feat. Vado]

22 Devastation [feat. Gudda Gudda]

23 Fuckin' Problems [feat. Euro and Kidd Kidd]

24 Feds Watchin [feat. 2 Chainz & T.I.]

25 Luv

Watch the trailer for the mixtape:

via Carrie Battan and Evan Minsker